Monday, July 16, 2007

John Edwards: Stopper of Hurricanes

Thanks God we have John Edwards to save us. He has pledged to ensure that hurricanes that occurred two years in the past cannot come around and hurt us again, like Ike Turner showing up at Tina's place on a drunken tear for old time's sake.

As president, Edwards will do whatever is necessary to ensure that Katrina never happens again, including building stronger levees and restoring coastal wetlands.
On the other hand, when hurricanes named Jane and Sue and Francoise and all the rest come around, well, you're on your own.

As for Edwards' 2004 pledge that in a Kerry-Edwards administration that the lame would walk again, that ship has sailed.

"If we do the work that we can do in this country, the work that we will do when John Kerry is president, people like Christopher Reeve are going to walk, get up out of that wheelchair and walk again."

But since you all didn't elect John Kerry, you don't get out of your wheelchair, sorry. The Breck Girl is no all-forgiving savior. You need to come across on your side of the bargain.

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